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Celebrating a birthday during a quarantine can be challenging, especially if you were planning to throw a big party. That was my case.

I haven’t organized a birthday party since I turned 14, and I was very excited to share my 20th birthday with my family and friends. But hey, waiting one year more is not a drama. I’ll prepare a cool 21st birthday party for next year!

Related post: 30 Things To Do Before Turning 30

Little 4 year-old me on her birthday party.
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Me on my 4th birthday

So, what have I done to celebrate my first day in my 20’s?

As I told you in this Instagram post, I always get sad on my birthday. It’s a mix of things: I feel lost, I miss the persons who are no longer here and I’m afraid of the changes that are about to come.

I wanted this year to be different, have a happy day with my loved ones. But, of course, a birthday party is not a priority right now.

The only option I had was quite simple: embrace my sadness.

I woke up late, had an avocado toast and rescued a beach hammock from the storage room. Then went to the balcony with a matcha tea and laid there, sunbathing, for 5 hours.

I watched a couple of episodes of Westworld, prepared a homemade salmon and brie cheese pizza (it was a fail haha) and went for a walk.

My 20’s started sitting on a bench, looking at the sunset. Yep, I’m that cliché.

But I learned something about myself doing this: I don’t have to be happy to enjoy my birthday.

I’ll always miss those who left us, I’ll always be afraid of changes and I’m pretty sure I’ll always feel lost. And it’s time to accept it. It’s time to embrace that sadness, that fear.

And make something great with that.

Me on my 20th birthday posing.
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Me on my 20th birthday

Are you afraid of changes? Take your planer and write a bucket list for the next year.

Do you miss people? Write a few pages on your gratitude journal thanking everything they taught you.

Do you feel lost? Well, I’m sorry, I’m stucked there too haha. But trying to find a purpose could be a purpose itself.

I was planning to write a super long post telling you all the cool things I was able to do even though we were locked down, but I just didn’t feel like celebrating anything when I woke up.

So I cancelled everything and decided to treat myself. Pizza, visiting my grandma (she gave me homemade sweets!), sunbathing, watching series and having a walk.

That’s enough.

It’s 100% my decision to face life with joy. And I decided long ago that I was making that choice.

I loved having that relaxing “me-day”. It’s not the classic birthday celebration, but being able to celebrate that I’m alive is all that I needed.

Feeling the sun, watching a great series and trying to cook something delicious made me feel alive.

I cannot imagine which present would have been better than that.

Have you celebrated your birthday during quarantine?

Read you, kweens!

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